Every few chapters while reading R.A. Dickey’s 300+ page piece of therapy, Wherever I Wind Up, I would turn to my wife and express my pity for him.
I call it his “therapy” only half in jest. Throughout the read, you feel him releasing his secrets, his demons, his fears, his doubts.
The author pulls no punches. He comes out of the box and describes (his only now public) sexual abuse at the hands of a (female) babysitter as a child, and not long after he describes similar mistreatment at the hands of an older male child. He talks about the struggles of growing up the child of divorced parents, his mother’s subsequent alcoholism and his yearning to salvage a close relationship with his father, with whom he looked up to and with fond memories.
As if his social upbringing wasn’t traumatic enough, the one thing offering him hope and a future - his athletic career - comes to a screeching halt as his professional signing bonus (and economic stability) is yanked from him, a proven All-American and Olympian.
Not surprisingly, suicidal thoughts enter the equation.
Throughout his adolescence and young adulthood, Dickey literally found a saving grace in Christ. It is this foundation that enables him to push through, despite many professional and personal hardships.
A second blessing is his development of his knuckleball.
Ironically, neither relationship - that with Christ nor that with his knuckler - is a seamless one. Though each is equally inspiring.
At the point when I turned to my wife with disappointment and relayed to her that Dickey had been unfaithful to his wife, she wondered aloud why I was still pulling for this guy.
The truth is, he seems generally sincere and remorseful and as hopeful as one could be at this stage in his life. It’d be easy to blame his upbringing for any unsavory behavior in his adult life. But his continual drive to be a better person, a better husband, a better father and a better Christian, while on the surface seems hypocritical, it really reflects the broader spiritual themes of forgiveness and redemption, which are the book’s real messages.
Dickey’s bouncing around the minors and flirting with the bigs is an integral part of his story, ones that are laid out by the author as well as his personal one. And as a sports fan, it is fun and fascinating.
But in the proverbial game of life, as Dickey comes to realize, all that is secondary.
[Wherever I Wind Up: My Quest for Truth, Authenticity and the Perfect Knuckleball]
![The Ozzie jersey really brings this whole photo together. [via]](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4k3byATje1rnovfqo1_1280.png)
